Most times as a teen, we get to be attached to one opposite sex. Yes, a love relationship is good but most times you need to check out some reasons before you rush into them. If there’s a constant misunderstanding between you two, try figuring out why and how it can be solved before bringing external help. Some reasons why it won’t work.
Firstly, Trust: the essence of trust in relationships is as crucial as love itself because if your relationship lacks this then it’s bound to crumble faster than it was built. Learn to trust even the silence of your partner. Even when he’s not speaking, know there’s a reason behind that. “We can’t act more than what we know” – Yoruba adage. Trusting your partner might be hard but it’s a sacrifice to be made if truly you want him or her.
Another important thing is Maturity: nobody wants a kid as a partner thus you need to be on your toes and be smart always. You’re bound to lose your focus at times if you come in contact with trials that are breathtaking but keep your head down and think it through. Seek help from elders; they are bound to be more experienced. Never trust a friend because friends kill faster than enemies. If for instance, your partner is a bit lower to you in reasoning,
Believe he does it just as he knows how to. Because you’re smarter than he doesn’t mean he’s a fool. Because he makes mistakes doesn’t mean he cares not, give him a chance to express himself even if the reason isn’t too genuine, I’m sure he’ll learn through the situation and come out stronger. Never let him feel the thought that he’s a fool when he tries to impress you. His jokes might be disheartening but I’m sure love encapsulates all pain.
Jealousy: as we know is a relationship destroyer. Yes, it’s a sign you care but when it holds the place of trust then make sure you think it through. There are several ways of thinking things through before jumping to conclusions; verily it’s not only by sitting in the corner of your Room moody. Another way is thinking about past moments you have shared and reassuring yourself of his pure love (even if we’re humans and we’re bound to disappoint). Make findings, ask him sincerely what the problem is, and trust his judgment. If you are still not convinced, I’m sure you know his weaknesses and strength create your own test and assessment based on that to be sure. Note that, too much jealousy can destroy what you built with pain, blindfolding you with anger and frustration which might in turn come out ugly.
Misinterpretation or Misunderstanding: these are common things that often cause uproar between partners. But instead of being consumed by anger, cool it off by listening to music, talking, and playing with friends than making sure what you think is actually what your partner expressed. Words might sound confusing if he decides to be silent because you are angry doesn’t mean he’s not concerned, probably he’s avoiding a scene that might be bad and might go out of hand. Misunderstanding is normal but with a solid heart of love and trust you should think it out before you react.
Unsatisfactory: no matter how much you care, or you show politeness it can never be satisfactory. Humans generally are like this. You can never satisfy them in that case, take caution in what you do and think them through before you do them.
Carefree: Open relationships are typical examples of a carefree relationship. It might work, sometimes it doesn’t. The moment this statement is uttered then beware “Do anything you like anyhow you like it”. Hmm, it sounds like you have got your freedom, but no! The door to hell has just been unleashed. Carefree relationships show signs like an obituary of trust, the burial of love, and so on. Once your relationship reaches that limit, do what you must to savor it no matter what it takes.
Lies: Master of words, as you are called, you can twist and cover any lie. Note: it takes a lie to cover a lie. Nobody wants a relationship built on lies, it’s better you hurt me with the truth than comfort me with lies. You say, “A lie isn’t a lie if told for a noble cause.” Spare me that because outcomes of compounded lies ooze like a soakaway filled with excreting.
Go for a walk: this is something you really need to learn. When angry, instead of creating a scene or saying something that hurts, just walk away. Not that you leave forever, Of course not. Give the fight a break; you need fresh air to keep you on the cause because anger destroys. Once it’s said, it can never be unsaid. Know the power of the tongue and how much it can be disheartening each time it’s remembered. Walking away helps, so learn to do that often.
Lastly, never argue for so long it digs out ugly truths which might, in turn, hurt or pricks the conscience. Once the argument becomes heated… Go for a walk.
About Ayantunji Nurudeen
He is a student of the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria. A writer and Poet. He’s an individual who highlights the darkness in the globe and adds lightning effects to it so as to illuminate the world.
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